Other Than Silence
by Keelywolfe
Summary: Zim doesn't trust silence, especially not from Dib. Implication of ZimDib slash


~~*~~  
  
Zim never trusted silence.  
  
Silence from an enemy was a dangerous creature, the unknown creeping up behind him with cold, tentacled fingers. Better to face your enemy's plots and bandage your wounds than to spend days with prickly anticipation marching through your brain. Like it had been doing to him for weeks.  
  
Dib had been slyer than usual; skulking through the High Skool hallways in his trench coat like a shadow, and a skulking Dib was never a good thing for Zim. It made it very difficult to carry out his own plots when he spent all his time trying to figure out what that big-headed, smelly little twit was doing.  
  
So he found himself watching the revolting little human spawn. He'd always known he should have amputated Dib's brain the moment he'd shown himself to be a problem. It would have been so lovely to see him walking around like the mindless drool monkey he really was.  
  
But he hadn't, and so here he was, hidden in the janitor's closet while he watched the Boiler room door. He'd seen Dib slip into the room about a half hour before and hadn't dared investigate what the filthy human was doing. But once Dib was gone, oh, then he would discover all his secrets, and then he, Zim, would...  
  
The door opened and Zim held his breath as a human form skulked out. His anticipation melted into a frown when he realized it wasn't the right human. Too tall, even more hideously deformed than Dib. One of the football players, Smoochy? Snacky? Something like that. But why would he be in the Boiler room with Dib?  
  
Something very odd was happening and Zim had reached the end of his patience. He would find out Dib's foolish plan now and deal with whatever stupidity he had conceived.  
  
Warily, Zim pushed open the boiler room door and peered inside. It was a veritable maze of hissing pipes and bizarre, churning machinery, filled with dozens of darkened corners for his enemy to lay in wait. Zim crept through the jumble of primitive equipment silently, the urge to rise on his mech legs almost a physical itch. He resisted it, knowing he'd be far too visible. He would surprise his enemy on his own territory and he, Zim, would be victorious.  
  
All of his careful measures proved themselves useless. Dib wasn't plotting some nefarious scheme nor was he waiting to leap out at Zim in some foolish attempt to capture him. Instead, he was around the second turn, curled into a corner like a bundle of rags.  
  
Zim should have left then, returned to his observations but curiosity and impatience had led him here and hadn't released their grip yet. Instead, he stepped closer, squinting in the uncomfortably humid air at the human. He was sitting hunched against the wall, his face buried into his raised knees. Very odd, even for Dib.  
  
"Dib?" Zim hadn't quite realized he was going to speak until he did, and Dib's reaction would have been interesting if it hadn't been so startling. He ­cringed-, his hands sliding up to fist painfully in his hair, covering his head in a reaction that spoke purely of defense.  
  
Something was very wrong here and Zim very much disliked not knowing what it was. This was his planet to conquer and his enemy to destroy, and he detested any interference in either task.  
  
"Dib," he repeated, intentionally this time.  
  
The reaction wasn't as extreme but it was then Dib finally spoke, in a cracked whisper, "Just leave me alone."  
  
Zim curled his lips in disgust. Typical human meat sack; someone goes out of their way to try and help and all they think of is what they want. Of course, he was here to try and destroy Dib but it didn't matter, anyway; he was Zim and he would do what he liked.  
  
Crouching on the floor, Zim gave the human a curious little shove and was startled when he slumped down to the floor without a sound. Was the human sick? Ugh, and he'd touched it! Who knew what germs the disgusting Dib-creature was filled with?  
  
He tried to pull the human upright again, to see his eyes and mouth and maybe get a skin sample and Dib finally protested his treatment with a sullen, wordless sound of complaint. Zim had finally had enough. Let the pathetic wormbaby die here in the boiler room of some hideous illness. It would only make his duties easier if he didn't have to worry about Dib plotting against him.  
  
He started to push Dib back to the floor when a sudden pain in his hand made him howl. Zim leapt to his feet, dumping Dib roughly to the floor as he shook his hand, frantically trying to ease the stinging.  
  
The burn eased, slowly, leaving a small welt on his hand. Zim eyed it suspiciously. Water? But where had it come from?  
  
Dib had curled into a ball, odd little snuffling sounds escaping him and only that made him realize. Gir made those sounds whenever he was unhappy so it only made sense that the human would be doing the same thing Gir did in those moments. Humans wept -water-? Was there nothing about these creatures that wasn't disgusting?  
  
Well, he couldn't very well leave him here like this. Someone might see him exiting the boiler room alone and if they were to discover Dib, then he would be suspect. Better to get the human out of here and deal with matters elsewhere.  
  
"Come on," Zim snapped impatiently, gingerly wrapping an arm around the human. Dib moaned, lolling against him. Really, these frail creatures were simply begging to be conquered. Wetness touched him and Zim flinched automatically before he realized it didn't burn. Raising his hand, he looked at it suspiciously. Some red liquid, another human fluid, no doubt. Why did these humans have to be filled with such revolting juiciness?  
  
Dib's head had rolled back against Zim's shoulder and he could see more of the redness was coming from the human's nose. Not too much, perhaps no one would notice? Or perhaps they would, luck was not often Zim's companion. Grumbling about useless, stinking, juicy humans, Zim lugged the one he hated the most out of the boiler room, careful to keep his damaged face hidden as they walked out the main doors and down the street towards Zim's base. He would stop Dib's leaking and thereby prevent any suspicion from being cast his way. Then he would find out what it was the human was doing. He was Zim, and he would know all.  
  
~~*~~  
  
"It's none of your damned business," Dib repeated sullenly, for perhaps the fifth time. Zim glared up at him before returning his attention to the ugly gash in the human's side. The edges were ragged and it seemed to Zim that Dib had collided with something sharp rather than the other way around. Unfortunately, the human was not eager to provide any information.  
  
"I helped you, human. Doesn't your kind usually show some form of gratitude for assistance?" Dib said nothing, only hissed softly as Zim probed the wound again. Human flesh was not like Irken and it was taking a little time to adjust his instruments to heal this unfamiliar tissue. "I want to know what you were doing in that boiler room with the other human. What schemes have you involved the other stinkbeast with!"  
  
Dib only stared at him, his mouth working silently. Finally, he made a sound, a harsh little laugh. "Is that what this is about? Contrary to popular belief, I do have other things on my mind than you, Zim."  
  
"Then why will you not tell me?" Zim pounced. The human would talk, he would reveal his secrets.  
  
Dib shook his head and looked...tired. It was very disconcerting to see on him, this human who usually vibrated with intensity. "The next time you're doing your human research, look up the word blowjob. I'm sure it'll give you a wealth of information," said Dib dryly.  
  
"If this 'blowjob', as you call it, is so painful then why do you participate in it?" Perhaps it was some worm-baby thing that could not be avoided, like zits and that disgusting body hair. Zim certainly hoped that wasn't the case; he didn't relish the idea of having to fake one.  
  
"The blowjob didn't hurt me, you moron...oh, forget it, why am I trying to explain this to you?"  
  
"You will tell Zim the secrets of this 'blowjob'!"  
  
"It's a sex thing, Zim," he snapped. "You remember sex, from the video they made us watch in class?"  
  
His stomach roiled. Yes, he did. Utterly revolting, stinking human pigs wallowing in their own filth to create their young. Still, that didn't seem right.  
  
"But you and the other human are both males of your species...aren't you?" He eyed Dib suspiciously. All the humans agreed that Dib was strange; perhaps he was stranger than even Zim had suspected.   
  
"Yes, I'm male! People don't just have sex to make kids, you know. No," Dib shook his head disgustedly. "No, you don't know. Just don't worry about it, all right? It's not going to help you with your world domination."  
  
"Zim will decide what he needs to know! If this blowjob didn't make you leak your blood-fluid then what..."  
  
"Would you just let me GO!" Something frantic in Dib's voice and he tore away from Zim's hands, wild-eyed and breathing harshly. "He hit me, all right! Is that what you want to hear? After it was finished, he hit me! I fell against the railing and cut myself. All right?"  
  
Zim frowned, turning over the probe-o-scope in his hands as he considered that. "Human mating habits are stranger than I thought."  
  
"That's not a human mating habit, it's just..."  
  
"Then why would he do it? And why would you let him?" Humans didn't like pain any more than Irkins did, that much he knew.  
  
Dib laughed, a harsh, humorless sound, and his smile was thin and bloodless. "Maybe he hates me."  
  
"Why would he hate you?" None of this made any sense. He should have known it was useless to try understanding humans.  
  
"Why not?" Dib shrugged. "Everyone else does. And if he hates me, then he doesn't have to admit any of it is his fault. But I know the truth." Dark eyes gleamed coldly behind his glasses. "And he knows I know. That's why he has to hurt me."  
  
"This is very confusing."  
  
"Yeah, well, it's a human thing, Zim. Not something that aliens are supposed to understand."  
  
He hopped off the table and shrugged into his coat, wincing as it pulled at the freshly healed skin. "Thanks for helping me," Dib said, his tone grudging.  
  
"Next time I will leave you to spill all your blood fluid on the dirty floor," Zim grumbled, still irked at his confusion.  
  
Dib hesitated, tilting his head as he studied Zim. "Maybe this will help."  
  
His mouth was sickeningly warm as it settled over Zim's, soft and open. Germs, his brain shrieked. He was being infected with vile, human germs! His mouth opened to protest and the thick, wretched human tongue touched his lips wetly. Oh, the burn, the odd tingle from that liquid, too reminiscent of water. And the taste, too horrid for words, the sickening, meaty taste of the blood-fluid.  
  
Dib pulled away before he could start beating him off and Zim wiped at his mouth frantically. It wasn't until he'd rubbed his lips raw that he realized he wasn't actually hurt. He glared at Dib's smirking face.  
  
"That is your 'blowjob' then?" he sneered. Unpleasant, to be sure, but not unbearable. What powers could it possibly possess?  
  
"No, it's not a blowjob." Dib's smile was oddly more normal, his eyes glinting behind the thick lenses. "Traditionally, that comes before a blowjob. It's a kiss. Surely you've witnessed those before in your study of humans?"  
  
"And you did this 'kiss' to your other human?"  
  
"Kiss Smacky? Not a chance. You don't kiss just anyone."  
  
He left without looking back, leaving Zim to touch his sore lips gingerly and ponder those cryptic words.  
  
He would never understand humans. But at least this was better than the silence.  
  
Maybe.  
  
-finis- 


End file.
